A letter to my pregnant self

A letter to my pregnant self

 

Dear Pregnant Me,

You already worry, I know. You are worried about being good enough. You are worried about making sure the precious life inside you is delivered safely into this world. You are worried about money. You are worried about teaching the right lessons. You hope, when your son is here, protected, loved – there will be a sense of relief. And there will be.

But worry and anxiety are about to change forever. Soon, they will be embroidered into the texture of your life. Soon, you will know what it is to have a piece of your heart in a separate body, what it is to feel another’s pain and joy so acutely that the joy and pain of the past are but shadows.

There’s a lot to learn. Those flaps on the shoulders of baby vests? They are there so that you can slide the vest down when there is a poosplosion. Yes, that’s a word. Always cut grapes length-wise. If you have just applied nappy cream and have it all over your finger you can wipe it on the nappy. Co-sleeping cots are the best invention ever.

You got this.

The knowledge is the easy part. The feelings are much, much harder.

When your son is two years and nine months old, he will be diagnosed with autism. This will be the hardest thing you have ever been through. But you will come though it and feel at peace and happy again, and content with whatever he will be. You will. You will.

When you have your second child, you will find it so difficult. She will be fierce and scream and scream until crying is all you know, all you can hear. You will find dealing with that while worrying about your boy the second hardest thing you have ever been through. But you will come through it and feel at peace and happy again, and you will love her more than you ever thought all over again. You will. You will.

Money will be tight. It’s only purpose will be for them. Every stage comes with a new expense, a new thing to learn, a new skill to master.

If this sounds daunting, that’s because it is. If this sounds fraught with pain and heartache, that’s because it is.

But –

For every sleepless night and dreary day when you feel you can’t go on, there is a smile that makes know you can keep going.

For every worry about money, there are tiny hands reaching for yours in the darkness, making you feel like the richest person alive.

For every fear and doubt, there are a million perfect moments that mean you would choose no other life

You can’t know any of this yet. Right now, you can only hope that you will be up to the task. Right now, you can’t know how motherhood will change you. You don’t know yet that life so much harder, but more luminous, more vibrant than it was before.

But you will.

You will.

All my love,

Danielle

 

 

 


Tesco Baby Club recently revealed parents spend around 1,212 hours worrying about their children in a single year.

With that in mind, here is what I would have said to my pregnant self four years ago, at the start of the exquisite, painful, fascinating journey that is parenthood.

The Tesco Baby Event is a two week event in Tesco stores nationwide from the 16th January where parents will be able to take advantage of great deals on baby essentials and sign up for the Tesco Baby Club. You can get helpful advice on key topics, such as bed and bath time routines, skincare and weaning – hopefully easing just a few of those parenting worries.

If you enjoyed this post, you may like to read ‘Before You Were Mine’, another post about how parenthood transforms us.

A letter to my pregnant self

*Disclaimer: This is a collaborative post with Tesco*

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15 Comments

  1. Helen Moulden
    23rd January 2017 / 9:56 am

    What a lovely letter. It is so hard not to worry, but when I do I find it’s hard to concentrate on the good things.

  2. 23rd January 2017 / 10:43 am

    oh it’s so different when your pregnant and you have no idea what you have to come, if only we all had hindsight, or don’t you think that might be even scarier than not knowing? Lovely post x
    #PostsFromTheHeart

  3. 23rd January 2017 / 11:31 am

    Such a lovely letter… all things that we need to remind ourselves of! Worrying is only natural… sometimes you just need someone to say “it’ll all be OK”. Because you’re right; it will. #PostsFromTheHeart

  4. 23rd January 2017 / 4:42 pm

    All so true! I’m about to be a third time mum and still feel the same! #postsfromtheheart

  5. 24th January 2017 / 12:25 pm

    Beautiful, heartwarming post xx
    #postsfromtheheart

  6. 26th January 2017 / 8:59 pm

    Thank you for sharing this. Love, love it!

  7. 28th January 2017 / 6:15 pm

    Thanks for this, and I can totally relate. I’m pregnant with my first and I feel I’m worried and anxious about everything. I know it’ll be ok, I know we’ll work it out, but the fears pop up constantly!

  8. 28th January 2017 / 8:59 pm

    This is such a beautiful letter. Pregnancy is such a precious time, full of uncertainty and joy. Things will continue to get easier as well, with each passing year you will find new ways – easier ways of getting through and making joy. You have most definitely got this mummy. Thank you so much for sharing such a lovely post with us at #PostsFromTheHeart

  9. 30th January 2017 / 9:57 pm

    Beautiful words… and so many adventures and life lessons still to come 🙂 parenting never gets old! Xxx #postsfromtheheart

  10. 1st February 2017 / 9:33 pm

    Ah! You had me totally in tears! So true! I don’t even know who I was / what I used to think about before my first boy was born! Beautifully written – thank you for sharing. #PostsFromTheHeart

  11. 3rd February 2017 / 12:34 pm

    Such a lovely post. We are capable of so much more than we think. #postsfromtheheart

  12. 5th February 2017 / 5:21 pm

    I didn’t learn the vest thing until my first was older and when I found out I mourned all those ruined vests!

    Lovely post. It’s made me wonder what I’d say to my pregnant self…

    #SpectrumSunday

  13. 12th February 2017 / 8:24 am

    An honest post and a real reflection on how far you have come. I am so delayed and did not know about the vest thing! so thanks lol #SpectrumSunday

  14. 12th February 2017 / 2:33 pm

    “For every sleepless night and dreary day when you feel you can’t go on, there is a smile that makes know you can keep going.

    For every worry about money, there are tiny hands reaching for yours in the darkness, making you feel like the richest person alive.”

    ^ These parts particularly stood out to me – absolutely beautiful.

    There’s so much to worry about but it is all worth it. #SpectrumSunday

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