I am a good parent. There, I said it. Sometimes, admitting that you are actually doing a good job can be as hard as admitting you need help. Don’t get me wrong – I am not perfect. I have felt so exhausted that I have given in and handed over that cake, or turned on… Read More
In just under a year, you will go to school. Three hundred and fifty-eight days. Eight thousand, five hundred and ninety-two hours. But right now you are huddled on my lap, legs horizontal across mine, head buried in my chest. I can see a drop of wetness glistening on your collarbone, catching the morning light.… Read More
Our son was recently granted the mid-rate of disability living allowance. We have known that he qualifies for it for some time and yet when it came to applying for it…. we delayed. Not because we thought he didn’t meet the criteria but because we didn’t need the money while I was at work and,… Read More
When was the last time that you felt truly overwhelmed by an emotion? Fear? Sorrow? Anger? Confusion? When was the last time you felt like there was honestly no one to turn to, no way to make it better, no path back to a place where life made sense and the world kept turning? For… Read More
To most parents, the words tantrum and meltdown are interchangeable – a way to describe a frustrated and uncontrollable child – the name for those moments when strangers stare and you wish you could shrink into yourself. Every parent knows them. To the parents of autistic children, and parents of children with sensory processing issues,… Read More
When you have a baby, milestones stretch out ahead of you. Smiling. Laughing. Rolling. Sitting up. Crawling. Talking. Walking – an endless list to mark each moment that will never be recaptured, each step on the path to becoming a person. They can be so, so bittersweet. When you are the parent of a child… Read More
You ask me “Does your eldest child have autism?” “Yes.” I reply. “I’m so sorry.” My stomach lurches. No. Please. Don’t say you are sorry. I know you mean well. I was once like you. But don’t apologise for the gift that is my boy – for any part of him. I know that the… Read More
Having hair cut can be a source of anxiety for many children and those on the autistic spectrum can often have very extreme reactions. So, while I am sharing this picture I thought I would also share some of the tips from the things we have learned while managing Biggest’s anxiety when having his hair… Read More
Sweet boy, you’re different. Not to mummy. Not to daddy. Not to Little Bean. You are our whole world and everything in it. Each eccentricity, each little quirk and trait – they are the rich and joyful substance of our lives. We know no ‘normal’ but the world we inhabit with you. And, to us,… Read More
I am sorry that, too often, the world is a confusing and frightening place. I am sorry that a word out of place can make you sob till you shake. I am sorry that every day, a million tiny things break your heart. I am sorry that sometimes, the world will not understand why something… Read More
You wear your heart on your sleeve. You need to hold back a little, develop a thicker skin. Don’t let it get to you so much. I’ve heard it so many times. Am I a natural victim? I am walking down a crowded high street pushing my little boy in his trike. He is nearly… Read More
You are chasing your sister around the Rotunda at Croome. The echoes of your childish laugher flit around the space, like startled birds. There is something strangely tranquil here, despite your sudden and boisterous intrusions – a sense of something ancient in the atmosphere; things happened here once, it seems to say. Your sister’s attention… Read More