Just Us Two

Just Us Two

Boy playing

For some time now, I have been painfully aware of how rarely either one of my children gets my undivided attention.

My daughter is a second child and her brother has recently been diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum. She has not had the wholehearted newborn adorationΒ her brother received. She has never been the sole object of mummy’s hopes and dreams, the single anchor of mummy’s universe; she has always held that title jointly.

My son has a baby sister who has just turned one and a mummy who strains to meet the demands of two small children and a teaching job. He is still struggling, every day, to come to terms with the changes his sister’s presence brings. She is a vociferous and capricious element in a world he wants – needs – to be certain and predictable.

So I have decided, each weekend, I am going to alternate taking one of my children to do an activity with me alone, just us two, while daddy takes the other. I will then relate the most precious moments and photos from these times in a monthly series called ‘Just Us Two’. This is the first of that series.

Just Us Two #1 – 30.01.2016Β 

Today, we went to the park, my son and I, just us two.

I bundled you up in your jumper, sturdy boots and puddlesuit and we set off hand in hand, out into the sunny morning.

We walked together and you told me the colours of the cars you could see, the colour of the sky. As we arrived, you noted the football match taking place on the park field and your face lit up.

We explored the train and the playhouse and the swings and roundabouts, your feet and waterproof drenched with moisture as you made your way through the huge puddles.

Sometimes, you were sad. The slide was too fast, another boy was in the playhouse that you needed to be just for you, “not together.” I glanced apologetically at his mother and she met my look with an understanding smile.

But you were mostly happy. You ran along the path and round and round and you called me to look at things and got wet and out of breath, your cheeks flushing with exertion and excitement.

Boy in park

This day will never come again. These moments have already passed. And so I will record them here so that I might remember the day we went to the park, just us two.

Your childish shouts mixing with the deeper voices of the men playing football on the field over the way.

Boy by gate

 

The way the sunlight made our shadows stretch.

Boy playing

 

The way your delight and terror were writ large on your face, changing in an instant, the way childish emotions are wont to do.

 

The way you love to make things spin.

boy with roundabout

Your curiosity as you inspected each new piece of equipment as if it were new. We have not been to the park since the Summer and that must now be a dim memory for you.

boy looking at roundabout spin

 

The bright colours, the chill in the air, your warm hand in mine, and how much I love you, little boy, and how much I loved our time, just us two.

35 Comments

  1. Angela Milnes
    1st February 2016 / 9:24 am

    What a lovely post and a nice memory to record. I took tons of photos and recorded a lot of my daughters early years before I got into blogging and now i can record online. It’s such a great thing to do!

  2. 1st February 2016 / 10:42 am

    Aww what a lovely idea and glad you had such a good time together. It is nice now they have done the park up, shame some had to vandalise it (and so soon) though.

    • 1st February 2016 / 10:49 am

      I know! The concrete seat-things were ruined within a day. It’s really sad. E still enjoyed it though and we were early so mostly had it to ourselves. Thanks for commenting πŸ™‚

  3. 1st February 2016 / 11:03 am

    What a lovely idea – and something that will really mean a lot to them, both now and when they’re old enough to look back on it. (Also, how cool is that bin at the park?? I want one for my house, lol) x #anythinggoes

  4. 1st February 2016 / 11:41 am

    It can be very difficult – my third has had many operations on her hip and requires extra time and caring. Don’t feel bad we all do what we can.

  5. 1st February 2016 / 12:45 pm

    Such a touching post, I do not yet have kids but I am sure it js difficult at times to give each child for attention and I am sure having such weekends will be awesome for you and your family

  6. yneely
    1st February 2016 / 12:50 pm

    This is so nice to have to look back on. Love the photo with the shadows #AnythingGoes xx

  7. 1st February 2016 / 5:38 pm

    This was a beautiful exploration of the bond between mother and child and your right it can be difficult to divide your attention but I think you are doing a great job. I like the idea of alternating between children.

  8. 1st February 2016 / 8:03 pm

    How lovely – what a gorgeous post to record this day. I am sure your son had a wonderful time, your photos are just lovely. Kaz x

  9. 1st February 2016 / 9:29 pm

    What a lovely post and so beautifully written. I’m glad you got to spend some time together x

  10. 1st February 2016 / 10:37 pm

    Aww this is a lovely post and something I will have to consider when we have our second child in a few months time. It must be difficult to juggle everything. I already struggle so with two!! However I love this idea and will be making sure after the initial routine I will be making time for my first for our little outings/quality time. Thank you for the inspiration x

  11. 1st February 2016 / 11:34 pm

    I think that’s a great idea to be able to get out alone with 1 child. Such precious time and so hard to make the time for them individually.

  12. 2nd February 2016 / 8:53 am

    This is such a lovely post, just beautiful. It looks like your son had a great time and loved having you to himself. Such a nice idea to make sure you get that one on one time with both children – I just have the one and it’s difficult enough to find time for everything!

  13. Kat
    2nd February 2016 / 10:36 am

    What a really lovely idea and a fantastic post, I love the pictures πŸ™‚ #abitofeverything

  14. 2nd February 2016 / 10:49 am

    Such a lovely post,having 3 I’m also painfully aware that my daughter seems to get more attention being the youngest and the one that kicks,screams and shows off.I do try and make time to sit and play Minecraft with the middle one and watch a film with the teen.It’s hard to fit everything is sometimes though isn’t it?Gorgeous pics too x #kcacols

  15. 2nd February 2016 / 4:07 pm

    Something I struggled with for years raising six… I cherished every bit of one on one time I could manage πŸ™‚ Lovely post, lovely photos! #abitofeverything

    • 2nd February 2016 / 4:20 pm

      Oh goodness – I can’t imagine trying to juggle your time between six! Thank you πŸ™‚

  16. thebrightnessofthesedays
    2nd February 2016 / 9:02 pm

    I really empathise with that feeling of never being able to give enough quality time to each. Great idea to have time together just the two of you. Sounds like a lovely day #abitofeverything

  17. 3rd February 2016 / 7:30 am

    Lovely post.
    My son is autistic too but his siblings are all grown up and live away so he has me all to himself. I love spending time with him and I treasure each moment. Love the photographs. πŸ™‚ #abitofeverything

  18. 3rd February 2016 / 11:17 am

    What an absolutely gorgeous post! Loved it. What wonderful memories you are making with your children! Thanks for sharing with #abitofeverything

  19. 5th February 2016 / 12:56 pm

    This is so lovely and I really good idea. I also thing that we should spend some time individually with our kids. SInce I had my second daughter I felt that I have been given priority to her and my attention is not the same to my eldest daughter anymore. I feel sad about that because she is 5 and she realises I think. Now that the little one is finally at nursery I can go and pick up Bella from school and have all the journey back home together and just us. So it is really nice to feel that I can now give more time to my eldest. It is just priceless!! Thanks lovely for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I would love to see you again on Sunday! πŸ™‚ x

  20. cvnxena
    5th February 2016 / 4:53 pm

    Some lovely moments to share together πŸ™‚ what a lovely way to look back and remember, Thanks so much for linking up to #KCACOLS this week!

  21. 5th February 2016 / 8:03 pm

    I absolutely love your writing style. This is do beautifully written that the love you have for your son shines through. My son used to love things spinning too. What a beautiful series and how special that you are going to give your children this perfect gift of time! I hope to see you again next week at #FamilyFun. Thank you for linking up. I really enjoyed reading this.

    • 5th February 2016 / 8:26 pm

      Aww thank you so much πŸ™‚ Definitely will the next time I have a related post. There’s a few ‘serious issue’ type ones coming up next week though! πŸ˜‰ Thanks for your lovely comments. x

  22. 6th February 2016 / 10:03 am

    AaaΓ h what a lovely warm touching post! It really does sound like you both had such a great one on one time. The pictures are so warm and vibrant despite evidence that it had rained. xx #KCACOLS

  23. 6th February 2016 / 11:20 am

    What a fantastic idea and this post brought a lump to my throat! I’m sure as parents we all worry too much about the attention that our children get. That our precious first born has to suddenly share our attention. This is a wonderful way to give each child some special time, not only with you but their father too. #FamilyFun

  24. 8th February 2016 / 9:18 am

    So beautiful, you brought a tear. Thank you for sharing such a poignant moment x #ABitOfEverything

  25. Sarah (@the_mindfulmama)
    8th February 2016 / 9:47 am

    Ah, what a beautiful post. And there’s so much stuff in there about being mindful too! I’m trying to pay attention to those ‘little’ moments when I’m with my boys and try to get them involved e.g. ‘what can you hear?’, ‘what does that cloud look like?’ so they’re more aware of what’s around them.

    I had a lovely walk with my youngest the other day – he was on his balance bike and I made sure that I spent a few seconds every now and then just focusing on that moment. It’s so hard when your mind is also vying for your attention with lots of thoughs of the past and what you’ll be doing next.

    I think you’re doing a lovely thing for your kids to try and give them some undivided mummy time regularly. I must try more of that myself πŸ™‚

    • 8th February 2016 / 9:50 am

      I really enjoyed it and taking time just to look at things around you really is so relaxing! Thanks for commenting πŸ™‚

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