Please just be safe. Just be happy.

Little boy, something changed, deep in the pit of me.

I do not care if you never learn to write your name, if you need me to dress you until I can no longer dress myself.

Please, just be safe. Just be happy.

Little boy, that howl, it slices through me.

I do not care if others stare, if you never show another soul that you can recite your alphabet.

Please, just be safe. Just be happy.

Little boy, when you pull on my hand, you pull me to the floor, though I am still standing.

I do not care if the list of bullet points remains unchecked, if the targets are never met.

Please, just be safe. Just be happy.

Little boy, this instinct is overwhelming.

I do not care about positive strategies, about learning to cope.  I only know this adrenaline pumping through my veins, I only hear this ringing in my ears, this voice, screaming.

Protect.

I know that we must try – future safety, future happiness – they may depend on it. I know we must try. I must show you how to be strong, and kind.

But little boy you are my heart and so, if yours breaks, mine does too.

Please.

Please, just be safe. Please just be happy.

 

 

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School, School Stay Away

I don’t want you to go to school

The reason I burst into tears in my son’s future school

A letter to my son’s teacher as he starts school

What I want the other parents to know

The Struggles Ahead