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Category Archives: Parenting

20thJuly201720th July 2017
9

A letter to my son’s nursery, as he leaves to go to school.

A letter to my son's nursery as he leaves

For the ladies in orange – I gave you my boy before I was ready. Before he could sit on his own, before he could crawl, before he could feed himself or say a word – I gave him to you. I gave up my baby, my first– a vulnerable little ball of wants and… Read More

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2ndJuly20172nd September 2019
17

To the parent of a newly diagnosed autistic child…

To the new autism mum who just wants someone to tell her that it will be okay

I think you know by now – no one can tell you what the future holds. No one can tell you that this path will be easy, that it will not be fraught with heartache and frustration. No one can tell you that this will all go away, that the child you love so fiercely… Read More

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16thJune201725th April 2018
13

I will not let a broken system break my little boy.

broken system feature

We live on the border between two counties. All my son’s medical care is under Worcestershire. In September, he will begin primary school in Gloucestershire and, because of this, he is undergoing the EHCP process in Gloucestershire. We applied for an EHCP ourselves because no county would take responsibility. Worcestershire said they were not sure… Read More

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13thJune201712th June 2017
6

This is what I wanted to say… but didn’t.

This is what I wanted to say... but didn't

When I explained that my husband likes routines and makes meal plans, you said “Oh I see. Is that where you think he got it from?” and you nodded your head towards my son, oblivious in the other room. You winced a little as you inclined your head, as if the word ‘it’ was mildly… Read More

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6thJune20176th June 2017
5

I don’t want you to go to school

I do not want you to go to school feature image

I don’t want you to go to school. Every time I think of September, I lose my mind a little. I imagine leaving you at that gate and my chest tightens, bile rises at the back of my throat. I must dismiss the thought, focus on the three months I have to cherish four-year-old you,… Read More

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1stJune201731st May 2017
8

Why I dislike the phrase ‘If you’ve met one person with autism…’

If you’ve met one person with autism

If you’ve met one person with autism … you’ve met one person with autism. Ok. Let’s be clear – I wholeheartedly appreciate the sentiment behind the phrase. People with autism are individuals. Of course they are individuals. We know, even if there are those who cannot put it into practice, that we should never judge… Read More

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23rdMay201724th May 2017
7

A Moment in a Life with Autism

Boy in the woods

It is 10 am. Snack time. Toys litter the floor like a colourful, haphazard obstacle course. “Sweetheart, it is snack time. Do you want a banana or a fruit bar?” A small boy looks up, wide-eyed, thoughtful. A tuft of hair, golden in the morning light, sticks up from his crown. His mother flattens it… Read More

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11thMay201725th June 2017
23

The reason I burst into tears in my son’s future school this morning

Biggest on the Malvern Hills

When you are the parent of a child with autism, it easy to feel alone. It is easy to feel like there is no one else who is truly on your side, no one else as dedicated to fighting your child’s corner. Through no fault of their own, friends and relatives do not fully appreciate… Read More

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7thMay201710th May 2017
25

Am I a Fraud?

Biggest in the woods

Gorgeous boy – I love you. All of you. Every inch. Every week, I receive messages – from people on the autism spectrum, from other mothers, fathers, neurotypical and neurodivergent. They tell me that I am a good mother. They tell me that I am an example, that they wish their parents had understood them… Read More

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25thApril201729th August 2021
17

A letter to my son’s first teacher – from a former teacher and autistic mum

A letter to my son's first teacher

Teaching is more than just a job. I know. I know what it is to mark and lesson plan into the small hours. I know what it is to live in a hollow of exhaustion. I have felt the isolation and dread of a pile of unmarked books that must be marked, felt it deep… Read More

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10thApril201710th April 2017
6

The things they love and the things we do

The things they love and the things we do - Biggest plays on a street piano

The world is a wondrous place. There is intricate beauty everywhere, even in the mundane and the repetitive, even in the things you see every day, but never really notice. Recently, I watched an extract from a BBC Wales documentary where a young boy with autism, Jaco, takes delight in repeatedly visiting a market as… Read More

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3rdApril20174th April 2017
11

Tips for explaining autism to younger neurotypical children

Explaining Autism for Younger children feature

Recently, a friend of mine sought my advice. Her children attend nursery with a young girl with autism and sometimes her behaviour scares them. She makes loud noises, likes to touch things a lot and sometimes gets too close. How, she asked me, can I explain in a sensitive way? I have also experienced this… Read More

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I am Danielle and I am an ex-English teacher living on the border between Gloucestershire and Worcestershire. I have two children, a boy, 9, who is on the autistic spectrum, and a daughter, 7… read more

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My Most-read Posts

Teaching: a family unfriendly profession An apology to my autistic students No Apologies - You don't have to say sorry for autism Teaching: a break-up letter To my son: your stimming is beautiful

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  • Forgiveness and Permission: Why seek an adult autism diagnosis?
  • How to lose friends and annoy people as an autistic adult
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