In the words of Bilbo Baggins, it’s a dangerous business, going out your door. If you have a child with autism, leaving the house can take on the epic highs and lows of a trip to Mordor. When we began to appreciate Biggest’s difficulty with routine and rigidity, when we knew that it was something… Read More
Dear Sir, You encountered me and my children in a clothing store in a quiet Gloucestershire town a week or two ago. I was with my four-year-old son and my nearly-two-year-old daughter. Shopping for clothes is something I very rarely do these days, but unusually for me, I had a Christmas party to go to… Read More
My four-year-old son is screaming. The noise is relentless, high-pitched – almost painful. It reverberates in my chest and sets every nerve on edge. He has been screaming for half an hour. He can barely keep it up but there is no way for him to stop. It is visceral. Around the restaurant, people turn… Read More
The nativity can be a rite of passage. My own parents have a home video of me in the 80s, five years old, tinsel wound around my head, bridesmaid dress slightly too small, wings slightly askew. I sang a song about how Mary was going to have a baby, to rapturous applause. And then I… Read More
Every parent knows the fight. Autism parent. It starts as soon as the children wake – if they slept – and it continues until the moment you collapse on the sofa, breathing a sigh of relief. It’s “Please eat some breakfast!” and “Where are your shoes?” and “No, don’t push your sister!” It’s remembering the… Read More
Gorgeous boy, you don’t yet understand stereotypes. But people are already judging you by them, stereotypes like these – People with autism have limited imaginations. Autistic children do not play and pretend like others their age. They are trapped in a literal world where the nuances of fantasy and imagery escape them. People with autism… Read More
I am a good parent. There, I said it. Sometimes, admitting that you are actually doing a good job can be as hard as admitting you need help. Don’t get me wrong – I am not perfect. I have felt so exhausted that I have given in and handed over that cake, or turned on… Read More
In just under a year, you will go to school. Three hundred and fifty-eight days. Eight thousand, five hundred and ninety-two hours. But right now you are huddled on my lap, legs horizontal across mine, head buried in my chest. I can see a drop of wetness glistening on your collarbone, catching the morning light.… Read More
Our son was recently granted the mid-rate of disability living allowance. We have known that he qualifies for it for some time and yet when it came to applying for it…. we delayed. Not because we thought he didn’t meet the criteria but because we didn’t need the money while I was at work and,… Read More
When was the last time that you felt truly overwhelmed by an emotion? Fear? Sorrow? Anger? Confusion? When was the last time you felt like there was honestly no one to turn to, no way to make it better, no path back to a place where life made sense and the world kept turning? For… Read More
To most parents, the words tantrum and meltdown are interchangeable – a way to describe a frustrated and uncontrollable child – the name for those moments when strangers stare and you wish you could shrink into yourself. Every parent knows them. To the parents of autistic children, and parents of children with sensory processing issues,… Read More
When you have a baby, milestones stretch out ahead of you. Smiling. Laughing. Rolling. Sitting up. Crawling. Talking. Walking – an endless list to mark each moment that will never be recaptured, each step on the path to becoming a person. They can be so, so bittersweet. When you are the parent of a child… Read More